Test Drive #5 Is Alive

[magicademymods]

Test Drive #5



Class Is In Session

The Metacurriculum of Glyphics contains within it the fine and honored art of potionmaking, in which glyphs scribed into a cauldron are distilled within a liquid especially prepared to hold the enchantment. The task is remarkably finicky, and thus not particularly utilized outside of the classroom; generations of teachers have been forced to deal with the question of "when will we ever use this in real life?!", to their inevitable despair.

A pinch of cilantro, a dash of goat hoof, stir carefully and apply liberal amounts of electricity -- and you foolishly used alternating current instead of direct. Rather than a Potion of Supreme Might, your mixture has turned a vile grey, and a dark spirit has arisen from it to tell you that your personal hygiene leaves much to be desired and that your soul is so black with sin no heaven will ever accept it. This is no good -- the syllabus explicitly states that profane manifestations of magic are only worth partial credit at best. Can you and your partner rectify your mistake before the professor pops by to see how you're doing?

Shady Business

"'Ey! You!" calls a voice from the Merchant District Alley, coming from the throat of a pop-eyed, scraggle-faced man that couldn't be a shadier character if he was real slim. On catching your attention, he motions you over. "Sees that you're wizard-likes," he says, rolling his words around in his mouth in a particularly rhythmic sort of way that doesn't disguise his inability to hold one accent for more than a phrase. "Well I've got summat'll knock your bonzer socks off. Behold!"

Sweeping one hand towards a ratty old table, he whips off a cloth to reveal a rack of weapons. Pointy swords, massive maces, warhammers that resemble the smaller historical version rather than the fantasy types one pictures dwarves with, a bow and arrows, a stiletto, any number of different implements of death. "Priced as marked," the shady guy says, "and sold as is. No refunds! Some of them are probably cursed, is what I'm hinting at. Full disclosure."

The price is so good, the risk of a curse might be worth it. Did you purchase the Sword of Flaming Death, or the Dagger of Wedgies-to-the-Wielder? Is the greataxe mighty and potent, or actually foil-covered chocolate? Choose your weapon wisely. We -- we recommend you don't pick up the one that causes you to attack the nearest person in a rage of bloodlust, but what do we know?

Etreia Day

Everyone looks forward to Etreia Day in the dining hall, that special day when the food delivered to students and staff comes from that landlocked nation deep in the Tier Mountains. Little cultural blending and spices unique to the deep peaks and valleys of the isolated country have lead to a unique and renowned cultural menu that everyone is eager to partake of.

The effect isn't magical, merely biochemical, but no one can deny that Etreian food affects human emotions significantly. Light sauces and dry-rubbed fowl are terrific for energy and mood, pushing the eater into a flurry of cheerful activity that their body will likely pay for later. Sour dishes and dark bastes produce solemn moods and inhibit playfulness. Spicy foods are something of a wildcard, pushing different people to different extremes, be they happy or sad, angry or joyous. To those who expect this, experiencing these different emotions is as much a part of the meal as the taste and texture of the food itself.

To those who don't expect this, well, it's a bit of a surprise.

Labwork

Not every magical disaster is caused by some wayward student you don't know. Many of them are caused by you instead. To wit: you're on the spot in one of the magical labs, being called on to demonstrate a technique more advanced than others you've mastered so far. Failure is expected, and the wards should prevent any injury to others from a miscast spell. But will the sparks of your magic just sputter out and die? Or will you inadvertently mispronounce, misform, misshape, or miscalculate in a way that brings chaos to you and your lab partner?

(You could also manage to succeed in casting the spell, but that isn't very fun.)

Comments

Detective Pikachu | No spoilers if you don't want them!

[inmyjellies]

Class Is In Session

"Sorry, I'm a little gassy cause of all the caffeine. And that's not my soul, that's probably the coffee you see in my belly."

Well... maybe a big problem with the potion was your lab partner. For the average human, he's about calf height, small and incredibly not dexterous. He's been doing his best to keep up but... He's a Pikachu.

"It's not my fault I can't hold the electricity. If I remembered how to do it, I would have." Pikachu takes a whiff of the formula and makes a face. "Ugh... Kid, got any bright ideas how we can save this Muk soup? I'm thinking maybe a cup of roasted beans and a turtle husk."

------

Etreia Day

"Wow... look at this spread. It's really nice to know the world is so big and yet some of the food they cook looks exactly how people at home make it." Pikachu is too short for the chairs so, as usual, he's walking around with a cup of coffee in his hands, examining the plates as he walks.

"That looks sweet. That looks sour. That looks weird. That looks like a Psyduck lost its temper at it... and... ooo... what's this?" Detective Pikachu has found some tarts that look perfect for his coffee. He dips it in, takes a bite and then... turns around to see you.

"... Woah. Hey... Hey there, beautiful." Oh Arceus...

Etreia Day

[icameinlikea]

With a horrified squeak, Hammond dropped down into the cockpit of his mech and slammed the hatch shut.

"ERROR 503," the reverberant voice of the mech intoned. "SERVICE NOT FOUND."

[inmyjellies]

"Oh come on. Is it my breath? Cause I can change that. You don't need to hide, adorable. Wait, no, that doesn't work. Come back... uh... you. How did I forget how to flirt too?" The Pikachu walks over to the mech and does his best to knock on it. "Come on. I don't bite."

[icameinlikea]

The mech turned to face the small electric rodent, quadcannons clattering audibly as ammo fed into their chambers.

"ACCESS DENIED."

[inmyjellies]

"Those could be many sounds. The sounds of maracas, the sound of you fixing something, the sounds of you and I making sweet music together over a cup of coffee," Pikachu tips his cup and sips it. "But no. You're in a giant mech putting... is that ammo? This is a magic school, buddy! Why are you even allowed that there?!"

Ah yes, the bitter taste of sarcasm and sanity.

[icameinlikea]

"I CAME WITH HIM."

From inside, Hammond squeaked aggressive agreement. The mech could translate for him, but also had a limited AI of its own. And for the moment, the guns remained quiescent.

[inmyjellies]

"Oh! You're someone too! You're certainly an impressive big guy," Pikachu gives a low whistle as he looks up at the machine.

"Okay, okay. You're taken. I'll respect that. I'll lay off."

Etreia Day (Spoilers are fine for me, I am also the Xion player and have seen the movie.

[gender_neutral]

V resisted the urge to scream. All the invitations to the dance where bad enough, but this open mockery was very nearly the last straw. A low charisma score meant many things, but beautiful was not one of them. The short stick figure elf turned to face the weird yellow rat thing.

"No," V said sharply. "Let's start with two reasons. One. I'm married with two children. Two. You are sort of creature whose monster manual entry I have never seen, let alone read. It was bad enough when the comic took a side path into the concept of origins of hybrid creatures such as owlbears. I utterly and completely refuse to even revisit the topic, much less become a part or the story behind some odd hybrid race. Should either of those reasons fail to be sufficient I assure you I have a third reason in my pocket that you will find convinces you beyond all shadow of a doubt that any and all amorous advances should be aimed elsewhere."

As usual, V had prepared explosive runes that morning.

Neato! Thanks!

[inmyjellies]

"You're married with children? Wow. You look good for that, good for you." Pikachu was usually chockful of sarcasm but that was genuine... somehow. Maybe this pastry is helping out his personality.

Pikachu sort of just listens for a good, long while to the woman's rambling spiel before he takes a long sip of his coffee.

"I'll be honest, I lost you after owlbears but I assure you I'm as much of a gentleman as I am a monster. And a good gentleman knows not to harass ladies, even if she is as beautiful as the sun on a bright day." Oh brother.

"We can at least talk, right lovely?"

NP. V is so weirded out atm.

[gender_neutral]

What was this obsession everyone had with presuming a gender? "As you currently are speaking like the Bard's evil twin brother when he was trying to fool Miss Starshine into thinking he was her long term crush? I would rather prefer not. However if you could stop speaking as though you value me only for my delicate elven features, perhaps."

[inmyjellies]

He doesn't remember humans not having a gender, but it makes sense they wouldn't seeing as some Pokemon did. His bad.

"Uh....... I have no idea who the Bard is but he sounds like a weird bad dude. And... Miss Starshine? Right. Okay?"

Pikachu sighs. He sits down, looking kind of defeated after he sips his coffee.

"Sorry. I've been off my flirting game for so long. You seem really nice and I'm just a jerk." Ah yes, the crash of bitterness that comes from enchanted caffeine.

[gender_neutral]

"I am a jerk as well, nothing wrong with a low charisma score. Stop the flirting and I probably won't see a need to blow you up."

No promises, though.

[inmyjellies]

"Well, nice to be jerks together." Pikachu gives her a smile and sips his coffee. "I'm Pikachu, by the way. Detective Pikachu."

Class

[nobodys_puppet]

You would think that Pikachu had lucked out, getting a partner for the class who was among the first of the sundered. Surely she would know exactly what to do, right? Sadly for him, this bully magnet has barely attended classes, and... well... it is hard to say which is more concerning... the gloves that look too slippery that she shouldn't even be able to hold a vial, or the hood so far down her face it is a wonder she could see. Not that she's shown any difficulty with either. No, her trouble seems to be focus. And an utter lack of a clue.

When he asked her opinion she just shrugged and looked down at her gloves.

Just another thing she was useless at, she supposed.

[inmyjellies]

"Great, great. Quiet type, huh? No suggestions? Bright ideas? Or dark ideas, given your hood? Can you even see under there?

Pikachu hops closer and looks up, determined to see the woman's face from his spot in the table. "Hello? Earth to lab partner. Do you read me? Are you actively trying to savage me? Because as a Pokemon who has never gotten a grade before, I don't think, I sure as heck don't want to start failing now."

"You want me to help you take off your gloves or something, kid?"

[nobodys_puppet]

She stepped back startled when he offered to help take her gloves off, and stared at them wide-eyed. Then she shook her head. "I will pay attention," she whispered, as if he had threatened her because she hadn't. Those gloved hands went up to her hood to pull it closer around her face as her eyes darted around from under it. She looked... afraid. And tensed like she expected to be attacked.

"You... said something about.... thunder, right?" she asked softly. Like she was desperately trying to prove she could do whatever she needed to to keep him from attacking her. Given their relative sizes and that he just admitted he can't use thunderbolt... kind of amusing perhaps. Or, you know, disturbing and concerning.

While her coat gives away little, from her voice she sounds young, fourteen at most.

[inmyjellies]

It's hard to not feel for such a young girl when she looks so jittery, so scared. Pikachu stares up, beady eyes looking at the girl, before he steps back and smiles at her. He does his best to look as non-threatening as possible, since that's not his usual expression or demeanour.

"Yeah... you know... for the spell. I can't really remember how to use all my moves."

He takes a deep breath. This is a kid. This is a child. He's got to ease up.

"I'm sorry, kid. Just relax. You okay?"

[nobodys_puppet]

"We all lost our magic when we came here," she said softly, presuming that was what he meant. "But... I have a low level thunder spell back... If that would help?" Beat answering the other question.

etreia, spoilers are fine!

[plusfivedex]

Honestly, this is one of the more normal strange things to have happened to Kamala. She is, in fact, more surprised to be called beautiful than to see a talking... Rabbit being? That is the part that has her looking super-awkward.

"Um... Hey, there."

neat! Thanks

[inmyjellies]

"So, what's a woman like you doing in a place like this?" Pikachu walks up and smiles, giving her a wink. "Trying delicacies as lovely as yourself?"

"I'm Pikachu, by the way. I'm a Detective. A great detective, if you will."

Etreia Day

[afterhappilyeverafter]

[Saw the movie, so spoil away!]

At first, Rapunzel simply laughs in response to Pikachu's flirtation, though not in a mean way. (What kind of Disney Princess is mean to adorable "animals", after all?) He's a cute little guy - could almost give Pascal a run for his money on that front - and she crouches down to get on his level.

"Well, aren't you sweet? I'm Rapunzel, what's your name?"

[inmyjellies]

Thankfully she doesn't have to crouch very far since he's standing on the table, but now everything's a little easier now they're eye to eye. Pikachu takes his cap off and smooths back his fur like human hair before he puts on his hat again and smiles.

"Rapunzel, huh? I'm Pikachu. The World Class Detective Pikachu, at your service, lovely."

[afterhappilyeverafter]

"World class... Detective?" she repeats, slowly. It's a word from after her time, but she's always happy to learn something new. "What does that mean?"

[inmyjellies]

"You don't know what a detective is? Well, allow me to educate you," The Pikachu bows. "A detective is an investigator. We collect information to solve crime and catch criminals. Missing person? Something stolen? I'm your guy to find them. It's all very exciting stuff."

[afterhappilyeverafter]

"Oh!" Rapunzel says with a bit of a gasp. She smiles softly, and there's an undeniable respect in the way she looks at Pikachu moving forward. "You find missing people and bring them home? That's really wonderful."