".... No, in point of fact, everything is not in any way shape or form anything that could remotely be considered fine." And here was where Blackwing would interject with a reminder about manners, but as the familiar was not here, V went on without interruption.
"My party is, at this very moment, on a quest to protect the very fabric of creation from an eldritch god killing abomination known as the Snarl, that we had to learn about via crayon drawings from a senile old man who was lying to the paladins he commanded about their inane ancient oath to guard their gate and only their gate. And this we found out when we were hauled halfway across the world after the idiot bard destroyed one of the gates because no one actually comprehended the danger, because of a feud that seperated out what could have been devastating protections for each gate had they been combined. An evil Lich is looking to use the gates and the Snarl to rule our world with a despotic iron bony fist, and we may or may not also be dealing with the Bard's brother who also wants the power of the snarl. Without me, the party consists of a Cleric with decent spells, but no initiative and I don't mean the kind you roll in battle, Miss Starshine who would be quite effective if she wasn't wasting half her rounds protecting the bard, the bard, a genocidal maniac halfling who does not understand basic emotions, and a fighter who perhaps means well, and does the best that he can to lead, but spent half of the last book dead because he jumped onto the back of a zombie dragon without so much as a wand of feather fall! Without me the team went from having virtually no chance to defeat the snarl and reseal the gates to no chance at all! So YES! SOMETHING IS WRONG!"
And THAT is how you work a plot recap into the narrative, thank you.
Of course... V might have intentionally failed to mention a certain deal with three fiends from the neither planes....
no subject
"My party is, at this very moment, on a quest to protect the very fabric of creation from an eldritch god killing abomination known as the Snarl, that we had to learn about via crayon drawings from a senile old man who was lying to the paladins he commanded about their inane ancient oath to guard their gate and only their gate. And this we found out when we were hauled halfway across the world after the idiot bard destroyed one of the gates because no one actually comprehended the danger, because of a feud that seperated out what could have been devastating protections for each gate had they been combined. An evil Lich is looking to use the gates and the Snarl to rule our world with a despotic iron bony fist, and we may or may not also be dealing with the Bard's brother who also wants the power of the snarl. Without me, the party consists of a Cleric with decent spells, but no initiative and I don't mean the kind you roll in battle, Miss Starshine who would be quite effective if she wasn't wasting half her rounds protecting the bard, the bard, a genocidal maniac halfling who does not understand basic emotions, and a fighter who perhaps means well, and does the best that he can to lead, but spent half of the last book dead because he jumped onto the back of a zombie dragon without so much as a wand of feather fall! Without me the team went from having virtually no chance to defeat the snarl and reseal the gates to no chance at all! So YES! SOMETHING IS WRONG!"
And THAT is how you work a plot recap into the narrative, thank you.
Of course... V might have intentionally failed to mention a certain deal with three fiends from the neither planes....